It's Been AGES!

 I haven't posted to this blog in forever. AND I put everything in draft. And deleted countless entries. Why? Who knows? I was probably overcome with a wave of shame over myself, my imperfections, my wretched, messy humanity.

So, I have been without my fake Lexapro for about five days, so this will probably be ridiculous. I was going to go without it-I started googling natural ways to boost serotonin, and was just gonna go it alone (I haven't played Euchre in ages), but then I was crying through the last few episodes of Off Campus and I remembered I have awakened with anxiety in the middle of the night the last couple nights, and decided, nah. I'd just take the meds. 

Let's talk about Off Campus. It was really sweet. There HAS to be another season. Now, granted, I have never in my entire life met friend groups so supportive and amazing, and if they exist, I need to find these sweet, positive, amazing people and learn to be more like them. The characters were just so good (as long as you don't judge people on their sexual escapades). The woman who played Allie was freaking amazing, I want to be her and just stare at my cute sexiness all day long. Seriously.  Now, love storywise, sexual tension and craziness, it was no Heated Rivalry, but I think the still somewhat taboo aspect of same sex relationships, ups the notch a little. You know, the yearning.

Anyway, after I finished Off Campus, I went to Walgreens to see if my prescription was in, and not only was it in, but it was already prepared. I didn't even have to come back in 20 minutes. I was so happy, tears welled up in my eyes, and I knew I needed those meds probably. Then I drove back home, past Starbucks and watched a group of four happily walking in, and I was sad, that I had no couple friends, no other half of me, to go get Starbucks with on a Saturday night. So I popped my pill and came home, noting I still had a little cabernet left in the box (I buy those little 3 glass boxes-I don't crave wine much anymore), and I promised myself a glass and some reflective writing on my entertainment. And here we are. 

Earlier I discovered that if I met a man who made the same salary as I do, and had the same amount of equity in his house, we could sell our houses and get a REALLY NICE HOUSE. Now granted, the odds of meeting a man who is actually somewhat intelligent (I know you think you are, but not all that many people are), actually single, and where there is a mutual attraction is slim to none. And I wouldn't mingle assets without a prenup at this point in my life (not that I have that much, haha), but still. This is fantasy world I am playing in-dive in. Now that I have learned how to combat hopeless crushes and what's that word again....limerence, I do find it unlikely I'd ever fall for anyone. But maybe not. Maybe by NOT falling into limerence, I could actually get to know the actual person and not what my head makes them to be. Maybe I could actually fall for the real them. Anyhoo, I never meet anyone, so it's all just theory. And then, maybe I don't want to be tied to a house. Maybe I want to travel and GO somewhere. And my house needs several repairs and updating-the bathrooms are downright gross at this point, anyway. Too much stress. Maybe I could meet  repairman with an IQ of 120+, who is attractive to me (good teeth and clean), who wants nothing more than to make my house look nice. Wouldn't that be the dream?

I assume Off Campus is based on a novel. I need to find it and read it. Also, with all these hockey romances floating around, I may have to get into hockey. Except I don't actually have TV-just streaming, so I wouldn't have a place to watch it anyway. 

My freaking air conditioner (the entire central air unit is just three year old! I think it is 3 years...I think it went out when I was teaching accelerated 7th grade math online because I was sweating through a lesson in my bedroom, explaining it to a parent, which I think was my first year at Hickory) went out earlier this week. Maybe it’s 4years. I don’t know.So I promptly charged (sniff) a small AC for my bedroom window and new fans for the boys. The weather hasn't been too bad, and my bedroom feels great, but next week looks rough. When I get my first summer school paycheck, I'll have to call a repair person, I guess. That's weeks away, though. 

Well, I am starting to feel melancholy over my lack of friends, lack of bravery, and lack of decent bathrooms, so I am going to go see if I can find the book.

Funny. When I was imagining this post in the car, I had so many more interesting things to say;)