It's a Sunny Sunday!
It's still rather chilly outside, and I will be leaving soon to pick up the boys from their sister's house. The price of getting Liam to stay all night there is a trip to a disc golf course in another small town. Usually I can get away with taking him on a quick trip to Oak Grove which we can finish together in less than 30 minutes-and I am bad. But I promised, so I won't think on it anymore. I'll just make the drive, walk the course, and drive back. It's fine. It's all fine.
I enjoyed my time alone last night, but honestly, something has to change. First of all, I am over alcohol. I bought a box of wine on Thanksgiving, which didn't get drunk, so I got accustomed to relaxing with a glass in the evening this winter. The box lasted almost until Christmas. Then I just kept up the habit. However, a week and a half ago I started taking Lexapro for my PMDD AND I bought a bottle of peach wine. I was thinking it was Boone's farmy-type, but no. It was a stronger alcohol and just too much like, well, a sweet wine. I don't really like sweet wine much, unless it is carbonated. So that's sitting there and I feel very put off by it. Last night I went back to my preferred cabernet sauvignon, but I had to force the second glass. Really one glass is relaxing, but more than one is best saved for a social setting. Because it pushes me to the level of tipsy where I want to chat with someone, and noone was there. I am not too big on chatting online. Maybe because it is just men who I feel want something. And that's fine, there is nothing wrong with wanting something, but...I just don't think I have anything to give at this moment in my life. And if it's all my money they are wanting...well, they will be disappointed.
I really want to go OUT more, but it is hard to go out alone. I want to go to plays and bookstores and concerts. Who does that alone? I guess I will have to since I can't imagine who to do it with. I don't like the expectation of having to hold my end of the conversation anyway. I am so moody and sometimes I just don't feel like talking. I'm definitely better alone.
So, the alcohol was unsatisfying. Plus I didn't know what to DO with my time. I wasn't up for reading. I watched Call Me By Your Name, but the magic is sifting out of that one. I need to take a good long break from it. I am tired of the same old movies, but it's so risky to just watch a new one. So many are just not good. That's my tendency towards stick-in-the-mudness showing.
I also had to start taking iron pills twice a day and Vitamin D once a week. The iron pills are wreaking havoc on my already sensitive stomach, but the NP swore I would have more energy if I kept it up the vitamins and Lexapro, so I'll keep going.
I feel very old taking pills on a daily basis. I had planned out this long post on delivering Ubereats this morning, but now it's gone, the dogs are barking, and I need to go get the boys.
Later perhaps. Oh! I LOVE honeysuckle scents in the warmer weather and since we always push seasons around here, I found sunkissed honeysuckle wax melts at Walmart that are just splendid. You should try them.
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